In the sky, a rogue star winks sardonically
Radiant eyes shine, the causeway to eternity
I knew then that I had found
what I'd spent innumerable lifetimes seeking
It was the most perfect moment in time
now, then, & still yet incipient

I can't imagine life without your mercy
as I crucify myself for sins uncommitted
For thoughts that won't crisscross my mind
& wishes I don't allow myself to enjoy

Never imagining a redemptive future
I wed myself to my shortcomings
With every blink of infinity
I hate the very best parts of me
compassion withheld from the worst

My weary shoulders shrug off the mantle
of martyrdom, throwing the thorny crown
from my bleeding brow, I’ve learned nothing
but how to ensure my existential regrets burrow
ever deeper into my much-maligned psyche

Woe is me, the man who never gave love a chance
for his ego governed with unmerited aplomb
Vainglorious bastard to the end was I
until those knocks upon the coffin
where I lay in a wretched display
marble pillars of the crypt chipped away
Weeps the late mason who carved my tomb
his beautiful hands guided by the chisel of Jesu

Bathing in the shadows from dusk
for dawn’s rays would see me restored
If I were whole, what then would I have
was I to surrender to your grace
If I let slip these words from my lips
let thy will be done, let thy kingdom come

May I remain present & receptive
when composing lines of prose & verse
May they touch just one soul’s heart of hearts
so existence hums on both frequencies for a beat
that lasts no time at all, yet all the same, never ends

Lord, bless me with but a fraction of clemency
Forgive the mistrials of a misbegotten youth
Greet me in salvation's realm with hymnals
rapturously sung by a trillion angel choir
Through their joy, I will be reborn in your glory

Across billions of galaxies, for unending eons
your love is the solitary bounty I’ve sought

Lord, grant me absolution, but not today
I have yet too many mistakes to make
a few too many hearts to break
None more so than mine a thousand times
For if I do find rapture in the folds of the divine
then, haven't I misspent every moment of my lives
not passed with you

Or have I always been playing our game
not knowing what we do, what shall surely bloom
The amnesia of a devotee overcome by love’s boon

My being, enmeshed in the fabric of the cosmos
Conveyed across the inseparable threshold
of everything betwixt now & nothing
to wander forever the unrealized ether

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