KB
The barbaric yawp sounding from your heart echoes in the breast of every person across the globe.
Your desires; “Love Me!”, “Miss Me!”, “Notice Me!”, “Think Of Me!”, spill forth from the lips of passersby & strangers.
Habitually in-&-out of love, our greatest fear is its absence.
We stumble from our failed relationships headlong into the next. Obsessing, not over what we lack, but what we may yet lack.
Polluting love’s beautiful glow with our regressive thoughts. Worrying away at the strings securing our souls together. Tainting its transcendent aura with unhinged projection.
You may love me today but what about next Tuesday? If I can dump you tomorrow, aren’t you more than capable of the same? Better to leave first than risk you hurting me.
I’d much rather be miserable & pining for intimacy instead of happy in the arms of someone I love. That way, I’ll have only myself to blame, resent, upbraid, & loathe.
If I’m happy, then someone is conspiring to steal my hard-earned bliss from me!
Who cares if my misery means I’ll never be happy? Instead, I will content myself with brief moments of respite. The ones snatched from the dismal tide of my inescapable mortality. I’ll cling onto flotsam in the relentless typhoon of misandry.
Filtering time through that bleak lens is so reductive, yet we call it the true experience of life. I want the constant stress of loneliness to lead to a swift stroke. I’ll be able to leave this hellhole of a kingdom for the embrace of Heaven at the ripe old age of 37.
Am I bullshitting? Well, my lips are moving so, yeah. I do wanna be happy. I do wanna find her.
You know who I’m talking about, the One.
Find her, & I guarantee I'll forget my problems. I’ll have given them to her to worry about for me.
That’s not how life works though is it?
I know pining for another soul is my source of misery. Instead of worrying about life's impermanence, I should transcend these base desires.
But gosh dang it, I wanna be in love once first.
I’ve been alone for quite some time, thinking of myself as unworthy of affection. I reassured myself that I wasn’t fit for love. Now I see how sweet life can be.
Love isn’t always in the shape of another person.
It can take the form of health, luck, inspiration, creation, devotion, & humor. Love can mean courage, patience, kindness, presence, forgiveness, & bliss.
After internalizing these perpetual blessings, I’ll understand how awash in love I am. The Lord didn’t abandon me.
Like a fool, I’d turned a blind eye to the amazing abundance in my life.
Awaken to the joy that the Universe takes in playing with you. It’s a game, my friend. Why are you sitting there, scowling on the sidelines like you’re 16 & at war with the world?
Your friends, lovers, & family are as lost as you. Everyone is trying to do what’s best for them.
If that future doesn’t include you, don’t disrupt their happiness with your presence.
Your responsibility is to be true to your word & always do your best. To not make assumptions or take things personally. When you’re impeccable, life will unfold for you.
Don’t stop trying to progress on the path to conscious living. When you detach from your internal dialogue, your destiny will be clear.
Leap into boundless time & space.
Escape the bonds of this realm.
You must soar free & fly.
